Hugo: We’ll shove our metaphors down your throat through your eyes.
Hugo: Frenchifying Dickens because it’s prettier that way. (Don’t worry–everyone still talks British!)
Hugo: Orphans are sad, but old men who never got recognized for their filmmaking are sadder.
Hugo: People want to work, but they don’t want to be cogs in a machine, except they sort of do, because machines are cool. Whatever. MOVIES.
Hugo: We Make Your Dreams, So Thank Us. (No, Seriously.)
Hugo: The Robot Totally Doesn’t Matter.
Hugo: We made the girl a writer at the very last second because writing (like her) is an afterthought.
Hugo: Dogs Are Inconvenient.
Hugo: Did you ever hear that story about the first moviegoers who saw a train coming toward them and screamed? It’s neat.
Hugo: Turns out the girl was an extra part. Oops.
Hugo: Victor, H.G. and Jules agree: “all of the steampunk, none of the calories!”
Hugo: Yes, that is Sacha Baron Cohen. And yes, you do have lots of time to think about that, because not a whole lot is happening.
HUGO: We have really beautiful shots and want to tell you how we got them, because that is the interesting part.
Hugo: The tragedy of how film was melted down, not for important war purposes, but FOR HIGH-HEELED SHOES FOR VAIN WOMEN.
Hugo: Not Acting. Reenacting
Hugo: An undocumented worker with two jobs risks arrest to repair an old man’s mythically bruised ego.
Hugo: nine hundred shots of gears, ninety shots of blue eyes, nine minutes of story. 9-9-9!!
Hugo: Don’t Let Film Die Another Death Just Because We’re In Another War.
Hugo: Go for beautiful steampunk cinematography, stay for Martin Scorsese’s Song of Himself.
Hugo: The Death of Self-Referential Art.
Hugo: War Veteran Orphans Are The Bad Guys.
Hugo: Old Movies Are Better Than New Movies.
Also, Hugo: Directors are THE BEST.
Hugo: Jude Law! Just Kidding.
Hugo: 3D snow really is a triumph.
Hugo: What is a starving child or a generation of men killed compared to one man who’se business went caput?
Hugo: How to make a children’s movie make you think about masturbatory efforts (thankfully ego based, but really, Scorcese, quit jacking off!)
Hugo: Books are almost special!
Hugo: A sloppy movie we swear is art! It’s Dickensian or something, right?
I’ll stop. And, I’m with you.
We need more of this in the wold! Can we have taglines for Midnight in Paris? It deserves all it can get.